Student:  "Ahhhhh!  My eye!"
Me: "What happened?"
Student: "I accidentally squirted hand sanitizer in my eye!"

How does that even happen?

While walking around the computer lab monitoring students...

Me: How's it going?

Student: Great! It's going so good you don't need to come check on me anymore.

Right...

"Did you get any suga' for Christmas, Teacher?  Did you hear that? I just asked Teacher if she got any suga' for Christmas!"

You know I did.

"Teacher, I think my arm popped out of place."

Arms don't pop out of place there. That's what we call a broken arm. Excuse me while I throw up.

"It's not a Mohawk! It's a Bullhawk!"

Search "Bullhawk"... yeah, it's not a real thing.

Day 2 of Shoes:
Me- "Those shoes look good on you."
Student- "I know.  They're my new skater shoes. We might be taking them back today though because they are a size too small."

You better hurry.  I think Walmart has a strict two day trial wear with shoes.

Day 1 of Shoes:

Me- "Nice do-rag."
Student- "Thanks. I thought it would look good with my new skater shoes."