"Did you get any suga' for Christmas, Teacher?  Did you hear that? I just asked Teacher if she got any suga' for Christmas!"

You know I did.

"Teacher, I think my arm popped out of place."

Arms don't pop out of place there. That's what we call a broken arm. Excuse me while I throw up.

"It's not a Mohawk! It's a Bullhawk!"

Search "Bullhawk"... yeah, it's not a real thing.

Day 2 of Shoes:
Me- "Those shoes look good on you."
Student- "I know.  They're my new skater shoes. We might be taking them back today though because they are a size too small."

You better hurry.  I think Walmart has a strict two day trial wear with shoes.

Day 1 of Shoes:

Me- "Nice do-rag."
Student- "Thanks. I thought it would look good with my new skater shoes."

"I can wait. I've got peanut butter on my desk."

Why yes, those tissues sticking out of your nostrils are both effective in stopping your nose bleeds and a great fashion statement for basketball players everywhere.  The NBA would be proud.

"Are you tall?"

Compared to you, yes.  Compared to most grownups, no.

Busted! Not only are your check marks terrible-looking, but I will most definitely get you back.

"Ew... my sweat tastes gross!"

Probably don't lick your face right after we get back inside from recess. Actually, probably don't lick your face ever.

Student, seeing you flap your arm while your hand is on your heart, and picking a wedgie with your free hand simultaneously is a very patriotic way to sing the national anthem.  It brought me to tears, not from my efforts to silence my laughter though, I'm sure.