Me: "Raise your hand if you would be interested in doing the coloring contest."

Student: "Do you think we need to color it?"

Me: "Well... it's a coloring contest, so I'm going to go with yes."

I teach 4th grade...

During a rousing game of Heads Up Seven Up:

Student 1:  "Heads up, seven up!"
Student 2:  "I know... I know... I know who picked me.  It was... Someone."

Way to narrow it down.

While watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics:

Announcer: "...and here comes Japan."
Student 1: "It looks like China!"
Student 2: "Where's Arizona?"

I swear I teach them things...

Student 1:  "__________ just sneaked out into the hallway."
Me: (just loud enough to be heard in the hallway) "If _______________ is out in the hallway, where he doesn't belong, he owes me $500!"
________________ runs back into the classroom.  "How about I give you 5 million pennies instead?"
Me: "Sure thing.  I expect them on my desk tomorrow.  By the way, I have a homework assignment for you.  You need to figure out how much money 5 million pennies is worth."

There was not 5 million pennies on my desk the next day, but __________ did do his homework assignment.  He offered to give me the $500 instead.

Student: "Why do we have to clean up the floor before we leave?"
Me: "How did the floor get dirty?"
Student: "Isn't that the custodian's job?  Isn't that what he gets paid for?"
Me: "What a valid question.  How about you job shadow our custodian tomorrow and get back to me on your thoughts of whether or not we should clean up after ourselves?"
Student: "It's okay.  I'll clean the floor."